Germany’s Foreign Minister Congratulates Charlie Hebdo for Having Caused Massacre
BERLIN – Did you know that mass shooting is bad!? That murder is bad!? No? Thank God we have our German Minister for Foreign Affairs, Frank-Walter Steinmeier, to remind the European people on behalf of our unelected press that mass shooting and murder is unacceptable.
The politician didn’t mention, of course, in his congratulatory remarks on the occasion of Charlie Hebdo (a French satire magazine) being awarded a renowned German media award, that Germany has laws that punish all those crimes. There’s no need to talk about superior Western values, Christian ideology, let alone German press values. The laws will do just fine.
But no, instead, Mr. Steinmeier endorsed our corrupt press and morally supports their self-righteous crusade against Islam for pure attention sake: “The attack on Charlie Hebdo,” the white-haired career politician said patronizingly, “is a prime example of international terrorism” (no it’s not, it happened in Paris and the shooters were French) and “an attack on our democracy and freedom,” (it wasn’t, it was an attack on real-life people) “especially in this country [Germany] which had fought hard to attain those values” (no it didn’t, it caused WW2, lost it, and was superimposed a constitution by the victorious Allies).
The Age of the Comedians
Germany has a First-world, highly effective penal code to prosecute offenders. Leave it at that. There is absolutely no need to lecture other people on your supposedly universal ethics or superior morality. Murder is forbidden by law. End of drama. But not so for Charlie Hebdo: After the mass shooting, the comedians published another hysterical front-page cartoon, this time depicting the prophet Mohammed with a signpost that reads “Je suis Charlie” (I am Charlie [Hebdo]). It suggests that Charlie is Allah’s messenger, or is the message. This precious publicity stunt resembles the strategy of a certain Jesus Christ who once arrogantly announced he was the son of the Jewish God: When people informed Pontius Pilatus about this delusional provocateur and his retarded sect, the self-declared messiah doubled the ante and self-importantly claimed “I am also the King of Jews!” What followed was a tragic chain of events that led to the rise of pseudoscience and irrational belief that poisoned all human relations to this day: Jesus was declared “right” just because he was killed.
The crucifying of Jesus Christ does not make Jesus Christ any more “right” than it does the Jewry. Likewise, the killings of Charlie Hebdo editors does not make them right, nor does it make the shooters right. Our manipulative press, however, wants to make this a war of ideology in which there can only be one righteous winner: the West. And everyone is buying the propaganda, because it is the only media we have. People rely on it. Depend on it. Even if it nurtures us with ugliness and scheisse.
If German high officials, in exchange for favorable consideration by the mass media, try to make the Charlie Hebdo incident a glorious example of the battle of Western ‘good’ versus Eastern ‘evil’, they are merely enabling the same madness that triggered – among other fatal conflicts – the Holocaust. Meanwhile, millions of critics of Charlie Hebdo and the corrupt German media, with the exception of useful dissidents, are rigorously censored and denied access to the papers: Theirs is not proper journalism, because they portray Germany in a negative light.
Media Awards for Media Causing Terrorism – A new business model
Morality is not fixed, and it changes according to one’s age, life experience, environmental conditions, population size, and the historical narrative (e. g. the victor is always right). On several occasions in world history, it was considered respectable to kill Germans. The notion of ‘universal morality’ is a complete fiction. Like ‘God’, ‘faith’, and ‘meaning’. Empty categories in 21st Century. You can’t prove the existence of any of it. No, Christians you are probably not any better than Muslims. Luckily, the German laws are indifferent to creed: Murder is murder. But the Christian Mr. Steinmeier evidently believes this case requires the systematic demonization of billions of people (Muslims) in the world. The media and His Excellency want Islam being associated with ‘terrorism’, to stigmatize the German Muslim population so that they hopefully betray Islamic values and assimilate into Christian Europe, or else must callously watch how their culture is gradually being criminalized.
At the bottom line German media is feeding racism, or at least xenophobic sentiments, in all of Christian Europe. Awards to anyone who offends Islam. Let us squeeze some desperate act of violence out of those backward people. Full pardon to the bullies of Charlie Hebdo who after all made it their profitable enterprise (they are selling a magazine) to disturb the social peace of as many people as possible with their extremely dismissive, disrespectful agitprop. “It’s all satire” does the devil say. “It’s all satire” regurgitates the foreign ministry.
A Society of Bullies
Now, if the media set up media awards to celebrate itself, all the red lights in this republic should go on: It can’t get any shabbier than that. We didn’t elect the media. In fact, it is the only institution not run by the people. That’s why they are desperately co-opting the politicians of the kanzleramt: it fakes legitimacy. In reality, the media houses are bastards of the highest order, as corrupt and authoritative as any hegemon or syndicate. It is well understood among German journalists that freedom of speech is a “universal human right” in Germany – as long as foreigners and critics don’t get it.
The problem of totalitarian freedom of press is that we must never take offense in the face of political motive, ideological agenda, lies, rumors, hate speech or harassment – all carefully manufactured by attention whores, non-experts, and people you and I would never trust to public office. Under these inhumane conditions, we cannot ban even the most unbelievably offensive rubbish; we can only choose to ignore it. What we should never do, however, is to shower those quacks and disrupters with awards and martyrdom –not even if it got them killed. We are living in the scientific age. Death does not make you a holy man. It makes you dead.
If Mr. Steinmeier supports this offence-reaction-thereforeIamright business model, everyone in this country –you, I, and everyone- is greenlighted to imitate Charlie Hebdo. In fact, everyone is invited to “religiöse Hetze” (rabble-rousing) against Christians in foreign countries, too. Get them! I mean it. Satirically. Of course. Hate-bait them. Expose their silly culture in the name of parody and freedom of expression, remember: Make them do something stupid and be assured that you will have the undying support of the German Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Amen.
Go to Part II: In the Name of Lord Press Freedom (coming soon…)
Thor Tukoll is a pen name of Thorsten J. Pattberg, a German writer and cultural critic. He is the author of The East-West Dichotomy, Shengren, and Inside Peking University.
2015 (c) Thor Tukoll